Our last two sojourns to Europe have both finished badly. It is horrid that you have a great trip, and then the day you fly home, things suck. I promised to detail this for you, so here we go. Just once, I would like to be able to get home without feeling like I was run over by a truck.

We had originally purchased seats on Air France from Seattle to Lisbon via Paris and then home from Budapest to Seattle, again via Paris. Our original flights had a four-hour layover at Charles DeGaulle Airport (CDG–above) on our way out and a three-hour layover at CDG on the way back. I liked that. I thought it was a good amount of time to transition from one plane to another.

But then Air France canceled our flight. Well, they didn’t really cancel it; they moved us via a codeshare to Delta (that means that we were flying on a Delta plane but under an Air France ticket), flight 80 on the way out and 81 on the way back. We would still be on the same Air France flights from Paris to Lisbon and Budapest to Paris. On the front end of the trip, our schedule pretty much stayed the same, but on the way home…not so much. We went from a three-hour layover to a 95-minute layover. My friend Mike had warned me that CDG was not an easy airport, and I was really worried about it. Air France offered us a complete refund, but that would mean finding another flight less than two months before the trip. And those tickets would cost us almost three times the amount we had paid for the original flight. Plus, we would lose the flights to Lisbon and from Budapest…so we took the Delta offer and knew we would just have to move our butts.

Our flights coming to Euorpe weren’t too bad, but our experience at CDG on the way to Lisbon was not. You can read the post about that by clicking here. But on the way back, things went very bad.

I had been tracking both these flights on FlightAware.com before the cruise. If you have not used FlightAware before, you can plug in a flight and see how on time that flight is each day for about a week back. I tracked them both for more than a month—checking their on-time performance every day. I felt better seeing that our flight from Budapest to Paris was usually either on time or early. As it was the first flight of the day, we felt pretty confident we would get to Paris on time. And Delta flight 81 was also pretty much on-time most days. That didn’t make me that happy. I would rather see it being a little late so we had more time to transition at the airport.

How worried were we about making the flight to Seattle? So worried that we looked at videos of how to move from the E gates (where intra-Europe flights land) to Terminal M (where flights outside of Europe originate from). We studied airport maps. We read posts on FlyerTalk. We found a bunch of contradictions about what we would have to go through, but we did understand where we would have to go. Most of these said we should be able to traverse the long walk from the E gates to Passport Control, go through that and then take a train/bus to the M gates, which should take about half an hour to 45 minutes. That would get us to our gate to go home after they had started boarding but before they closed the doors. We weren’t worried about our luggage since we were going home and knew if they didn’t make the connection, they would catch up soon after, and we have clothes at home. Our day was planned, and we went to bed knowing that we might have a stressful trip, but we could do it. Kathleen was still worried about how she would do with her knee.

We got up at 2:00 am, had our luggage ready to be picked up by Viking, loaded on the “luxury motor coach” to the airport by 2:45, and we were downstairs in the lobby, ready to board that bus at 3:00 am. We arrived at the airport at 4:00 am for a 6:20 flight, right on time. We boarded the plane on time. And then…the pilot announced that we needed to de-ice the plane, and that would take about half an hour. We freaked. But then I got a notification from Delta that our flight from Paris to Seattle had been rescheduled to one hour later. YEAH! A flight attendant onboard was great at telling us where our next gates would be, and when we mentioned we were worried about making it to the Seattle flight, she said not to worry too much. There were 24 people on that plane from Budapest going to our flight to Seattle. She said, “They aren’t going to want to rebook 24 people. They won’t fly without you.”

Our flight from Budapest finally left about 45 minutes late. So we had lost 15 minutes of that hour. We had been scheduled to get into Paris at 8:30 am. We arrived at 9:45 and had to get across the airport by 11:30. So off we went. We found our way through the E gates pretty easily, but Kathleen’s knee was already starting to hurt, and we had already walked quite a distance. And then we hit Passport Control.

We had high hopes that being in Business Class there would be a special line for us. And there was. But it wasn’t moving any faster, nor was it any shorter than the other lines. And all of them were going slow. In the meantime, a bunch of people were going up to an airport supervisor, asking to be let in early. He would scan their boarding passes, and if they had less than a certain amount of time, he would let them through. We saw him send 90% of those people back to the end of our line. Of course, they didn’t go to the back of the line; they just kind of blended into the line a few people back. We saw a number of them, who should have been 100 people behind us, get through before we did.

After 45 minutes, we got to where we could see the Passport Control booths, and of course, on a day when there were a lot of late planes due to weather (ice and cold), only four of 10 of the booths were operating. I can never figure that kind of thing out. We finally got through, and it was 11:15. We thought we had only 15 minutes to get to the gate, which was quite a ways away. But I got another text from Delta at just about that minute saying that the flight was now delayed until 11:50. We breathed another sigh of almost relief.

From there, we made our way to gate M-29, where our plane was supposed to load. Now, before I continue, I need to tell you what we are carrying between us as we went. Kathleen has her carry-on (a regular-size carry-on roller) and her personal item, a bag about one-third the size of a carry-on. She was pushing both on the roller’s wheels. I had my standard roller carry-on and my computer/camera bag as my personal item. Both our carry-ons are standard size and weight, and Kathleen’s personal item wasn’t that big or heavy. But my computer/camera bag weighs about 35 lbs. Half the reason I don’t check the roller bag is because I need it as a dolly for the computer bag. That’s how we rolled through the airport.

So now you know what we had between us, you will know why the next thing that happened really killed us (especially me). When it was time to go down the jetway to our plane, we went about halfway down, and there was a door, and we were directed to go through it and down three flights of stairs to a waiting bus. The plane at our gate, at the end of that jetway was not our jet. With Kathleen’s knees, there was no way she could carry her bags down the stairs. She needed to have her hands free to grab a rail. So I carried them all down—all four bags. No elevators, no escalators, just three flights of stairs going down.

Then, when we got to the bottom, there was a very ugly bus. Most people on it had to stand up. Luckily, Kathleen got a seat while I managed the bags and stood. We literally drove to the other side of the airport. I truly believe the bus ride was approximately 30 minutes. And when we finally arrived we saw that our plane did not have a gate or jetway, just a set of stairs next to the plane. So now I would have to carry those bags up a very long and steep set of stairs while I worried that Kathleen would be able to do it safely as well. And there was no way I could carry all four. She had to take her small one.

To make matters worse, they wouldn’t let us off the bus. They had five buses lined up with everyone on board. And since it was a cold day out, they kept the doors closed. For at least 20 minutes, they just kept us there. Eventually, people yelled so loud about the heat on the bus and the smell of diesel fuel that they opened the doors of the buses, but they still would not let us off. I was truly surprised no one passed out from the heat and fumes.

Finally, someone from Delta came to each bus and said that the food service provider was servicing the plane and we were not allowed to be onboard until he was finished, which he thought would be in about 10 minutes. All this time, most of the people on all five buses were still standing up, trying to hold up their bags. Finally, we were allowed to board the plane. By this time, it was almost 12:30 pm. Kathleen made it up with a minimum of trouble. I still have a sore shoulder from getting those bags up those stairs. The cherry on the whole crappy day was that they had changed planes, so our seats were no longer together. Not a huge deal but it meant I wasn’t right there to deal with getting the carryons up and down from the overhead bins for her. And we couldn’t communicate during the flight without getting out of our seats. We managed.

The flight itself was fine. I watched a couple of movies, worked with some photos, had a nice meal, and drank a lot of water. We landed in Seattle after 3:00 (supposed to be 12:45), got through Customs, we were met by our driver (who had monitored our flight and knew we were late), and we were home in our house before 5:00. But what a day—23 hours from waking up in Budapest to unpacking in our home. And to top it all off…it was my 71st birthday. Not one I will soon forget.

See why plane travel makes me feel old…and ruins the end of trips? When I have days like this, I totally get why my good friend Bob hates air travel. I totally understand. Oh, and when I checked this morning on FlightAware, both of those flights had been right on time (within 15 minutes) every day before and since. Our particular day was the only one that was different. That’s crazy.

I have one more post to write and this trip is toast. This is just a summary and review of the whole thing, especially the cruise. See you soon—hopefully tomorrow, but more likely the day after Christmas. Lots of cooking and shopping and wrapping to do before then.

Running through airports with pounds of luggage – that’s a good workout. —Rachel McAdams